Courage Doesn’t Always Roar

“The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it.” ~ General Norman Schwarzkopf

Courage Doesn’t Always Roar

Many of you are extremely ill and essentially have lost your lives, your families, friends, and livelihood. Your life, as you knew it, has been destroyed, worst of all, many have lost their hope and faith. Or, you are still mourning your life and the person that you used to be. That is why I was so torn and confused with what I am about to share with you.

On the one hand, I didn’t want to shatter your hope. I even thought that was it was for the greater good that I didn’t share this bit of news. But then, my feelings, as my younger sister so eloquently stated, is I do believe in miracles and that you can be cured and regain your life.

“Hold fast to your dreams, for if dreams die, life is like a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. “ ~ Langston Hughes

These last couple of months, I have been experiencing back, and hip (sacral) pain and it has also been moving and twisting like a corkscrew. Yes, I had been a bit tired, but the pain would wake me because it was uncomfortable to sleep. (Also, the fact that my very elderly pooch has been going through a phase too, where her sleep cycle has been off, you know, her day and night flipped because of her age and had kept me up at night.)

Then I thought, maybe I knew but perhaps I was in denial of even considering the worst. But, then logic shows that I wasn’t in a state of denial; I had plausible reasons to believe I was just dealing with an old injury that flared up.  After a snowmobile accident that left me only being able to move my head and my toes (body whiplash); and, not too long ago, being able to walk away from a rollover accident where a tree came crashing through the driver’s side window and ending up coming to a halt in a creek, I have a few residual problems that I have had throughout my life. So, why in the world would I even think that I was deceiving myself into a state of denial?

Recently, I have been researching prolotherapy after one doctor suggested that I use a back or sacral brace for a while. I went about looking for other opinions. Was I surprised at the news!!!

I sought some advice from my most trusted doctor that had gotten me through my serious bout with Babesia. His due diligence and insistence that I undergo ART or muscle testing, as some call it, discovered that the raging beast had come again! He was very quiet throughout the session, so I knew something was wrong. Of course, my initial reaction when he said it was a bit of tear, but mostly anger. (I tend to cry when I am very angry rather than say something that I’d regret later.) I could see he was as upset as I was, maybe more so, as I left, I said it out loud. “I am going to hit something as soon as I walk out of here.” His reply: “please don’t hit my employees.” LOL

My last statement was “I’m OK, I’ll deal with it and move on. Life goes on.”

“What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight; it’s the size of the fight in the dog.”

~ Dwight D. Eisenhower

Well, I am convinced that it was caught early and will undergo treatment once again. We will begin with one antibiotic and a few herbals and check back within a month. We will review the results, share information, and depend on how that goes; we will then see if a cyst busting regimen is what is necessary.

What kept running through my mind the entire way home: I didn’t want to let those that are still struggling down and shatter their hope. I think that is what was most upsetting to me.

I still stand by my beliefs. I will overcome this obstacle. I will still thoroughly enjoy my life. I will not lose hope, and I will continue. I am grateful for where I am today for what I have and how far I’ve come. I cherish the small victories like just being able to walk without a cane or pain. I chose not to be a victim; I have a voice, I have courage, and I have my spirit, I can now use what I have gone through to reach out to others hopefully I can instill hope and inspiration to them. If I can enlighten those that have no clue of what you go through, I will use my voice and my words to show them.

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’” ~ Mary Anne Radmacher

It is those of you out there that still keep me going, I know how many of you cannot talk at home or when you are out, but go on walking through your life, but it’s not really you, and nobody knows what you are going through or have gone through unless you’ve been there. I know how some of you don’t think you’ll be ever able to laugh, walk, hope or feel well again.

I know what it’s like to watch others and the world going on without you because you are stuck in your little hell that no one believes in. It’s like you’re stuck in a dark cave held prisoner being tortured over and over again. How you’d so much like to be part of the world, working and enjoying life.

This is a quote I recently heard. I believe it was a WWII vet that describes it beautifully.

”For those that were there, no explanation necessary. For those that weren’t, no explanation, possible.”

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Sometimes You Have To Use Methods that You’re Skeptical About to Heal Yourself

Klinghartdt Autonomic Response Therapy

Lessons Learned: Pearls of Insights: