The Stigma

There is one major obstacle that I have yet been able to conquer…I’m at a bit of a loss

The Stigma of Lyme

Lately, I have been recalling memories and skills that I had thought I lost forever. It was both wonderful and alarmingly frightening. The worst memories were those that appeared in my dreams when I was in the hospital enduring tests after tests with no answers. When I heard Joy’s testimony last month, it was as if I was there in that very room, what really hit home was when she said she was “all but dissected”; I recalled the moment when I realized that I was lucky I walked away from that surgical table alive but it was a very close call.

In my past legal experience, I had heard some very compelling closing statements by counsel; I’d have to say hers was equal to some of the best that I’ve heard. “Lyme Disease is one hell of a battle; the battle to get a diagnosis, a battle to fight the disease, a battle to get your insurance to pay for your treatment, a battle to get the medical establishment to recognize and treat this disease as a very serious disease” that it really is.

I often hear things from others that their families often say, “it’s always about Lyme”; “you’re obsessed with Lyme”; “you’re making yourself sick by not letting it go”; “can’t you think of anything else?” and these types of remarks are endless. When Lyme Disease reached my central nervous system, it turned my whole life upside down. Once I was able to regain my motor skills and no longer bedridden I was sure that I had recovered I was happy with that. If it wasn’t for this last battle with Babesia a couple years ago, I would have never known that I could feel as great as I have with absolutely no lingering symptoms of Lyme Disease or its “flare ups”.

Dr. Yost said it best in his testimony at the hearing. Lyme Disease is a constant part of your life like a person with Diabetes, Heart Disease or Cancer. You concentrate on remaining well and not have a repeat of an experience that you will never forget. A Diabetic has to continue to watch their levels; a heart patient that had a serious heart attack, exercises and watches what he/she eats daily to keep their cholesterol down to avoid a repeat; and a Cancer patient remembers that particular day when he/she heard he/she had Cancer that vows to do whatever to ensure it doesn’t come back and in the very back of their mind there is always a fear that it may rear its ugly head once again.

I have regained my health, I feel better than I ever have but I still have found that I need to watch what I eat, exercise, pace myself, monitor what I am exposed to and maintain regular checkups, herbal prevention protocols and count my blessings every day. It is a part of my life and it will always be. Each day that I am enjoying my good fortune, there is a tiny fear that the other shoe will drop but then I do my best to bury it deep in the recesses of my mind.

There is one major obstacle that I have yet been able to conquer… I’m at a bit of a loss

There is one major obstacle that I have yet been able to conquer. Frankly, I’m at a bit of a loss on how to go about overcoming it. It is going back to work after being unemployed for a period of time. I know it’s not easy because I had to do it a few years back. Back then, most knew my history and what had happened and knew me well; I was extremely competent, rational, logical, quick-witted, and reliable so I was accepted back into my positions with open arms despite the reduction in my capabilities and reduction in hours. It is very different returning to the job market than those I had mentioned before those were diagnosed with Diabetes, Heart Disease or Cancer; they don’t have to deal with the stigma that comes with Lyme Disease.

Now, after realizing that I have recalled some of those skills that you only attain from experience, I am at a loss because being number one and working over 40 hours a week in not as important as it had been in the past. My good health, family, friends, and enjoying life are a much more valuable aspect of my life. How do you tell possible employers that you were disabled for a period of your life? How do you explain to those that inquire as to the “time lag” in your employment when you were unable to work without ruining any chance of being employed? How do you explain that you do not to work full time to ensure that you stay well and continue to work on a cause that is important to you? What do you say to those that say “how do I know that you won’t tire of this since you are obviously over qualified for this position”? I know, with the current job market out there now, you’d think that these aren’t some valid issues but I have come across them. I will find a way to jump this hurdle, I’m still uncertain how but I will. Question is will I tell them the entire truth and hope for the best?

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