Lyme Aware

Tag Archives: hope

Blast from the Past – Part 2

Wedls

Alas, a true vacation. One that I was able to take the time to enjoy and concentrate on just having fun. Yes, it had a purpose, but I had fun in the process.  This blurb is a bit of a continuation of my Blast in the Past blog.

In my quest to find my past, I stumbled upon quite a few that were touched by Lyme Disease and other tick-borne diseases. One evening, I met my sweetheart and a friend for a bite to eat. It was the place where my younger sister once worked while in high school as a waitress. When I was asked to meet them there, I couldn’t recall where it was, nothing new there. I was a bit nervous. My sweetie was confident once I began driving there I would be able to remember familiar landmarks along the way and arrive safely. (Mind you, I drove my hot rod I thought I’d never been able to drive again due to my Lyme Disease arthritis.)MyHotRod

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Courage Doesn’t Always Roar

lionroaring“The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it.” ~ General Norman Schwarzkopf

Courage Doesn’t Always Roar

Many of you are extremely ill and essentially have lost your lives, your families, friends, and livelihood. Your life, as you knew it, has been destroyed, worst of all, many have lost their hope and faith. Or, you are still mourning your life and the person that you used to be. That is why I was so torn and confused with what I am about to share with you.

On the one hand, I didn’t want to shatter your hope. I even thought that was it was for the greater good that I didn’t share this bit of news. But then, my feelings, as my younger sister so eloquently stated, is I do believe in miracles and that you can be cured and regain your life.

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“With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility”

SpiderMan“With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility”

This last week with the coming of the New Year, I have been reflecting a lot of my life, life in general, and those that are battling their own health crisis issues. There are many serious health issues out there, such as heart disease, cancer, diabetes, bulimia/anorexia and so many more that many of you have never heard of, but, they all hold one thing in common. They each cause you to look at your entire life differently.

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The Stigma

Successfailure

There is one major obstacle that I have yet been able to conquer…I’m at a bit of a loss

The Stigma of Lyme

Lately, I have been recalling memories and skills that I had thought I lost forever. It was both wonderful and alarmingly frightening. The worst memories were those that appeared in my dreams when I was in the hospital enduring tests after tests with no answers. When I heard Joy’s testimony last month, it was as if I was there in that very room, what really hit home was when she said she was “all but dissected”; I recalled the moment when I realized that I was lucky I walked away from that surgical table alive but it was a very close call.

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Concealed Tortured Soul

lessons_learned_small1For years now, there have been many heated debates over Lyme Disease and its effects on psychological behaviors or whether there is any affect at all even despite evidence that has been presented. Pamela Weintraub has posted several articles regarding this very issue. Dr. Robert Bransfield has also conducted research on the psychiatric manifestations of Lyme Disease and has had over 200 “peer-reviewed articles describe the causal association between Lyme/tick-borne diseases and mental symptom pathophysiology, morbidity and mortality.”

I am not an expert but what I read the other day; I’d say I would have to agree with Dr. Bransfield and Ms. Weintraub. Lyme Disease can cause erratic behavior especially after discovering an old lost journal of a time that I had long put behind me.  

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Thank You For Being There

Thanks

Thank you for being with me through this roller coaster of my life.

This little blurb is for those that are on the other side of this horrendous Disease. Last night as I sat and watched my husband in obvious discomfort, I experienced several different emotions. I went from fear to helplessness to anger to shame to worry to annoyance to relief to concern to fretting; the cycle kept repeating itself.

Then, I thought how difficult it must be for those that go every day observing the list of symptoms you go through, at times, every minute to every hour of the day. How angry and helpless they must feel. Just sitting back and not being able to do anything to help you. Then, when you are in the Emergency Room and trying to explain what is going on with your loved one and not being heard. While you are asking questions or adding to what your loved one has said, it is as if you are not there, totally ignored. For those that have not made a trip to the ER, great for you! However, for those that have whether it was for your wife, children, parents, etc. know what I am speaking about-it’s as if it’s just a one-way discussion.

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Joy is the Simplest Form of Gratitude

happy

I awoke the last two mornings smiling and happy. I just love my life and am thankful for everything I have.

I am thankful for a multitude of things: 

my great husband,

my “sweet pea”,

my only having sporadic fever and headaches now and then (no longer constant all day/all night, my decrease in neuropathy (almost nil),

my eye pain is gone,

my fatigue is not every day now,

my not having to use knee braces or a cane anymore,

my being able to read a book again,

my sensitivity to wearing clothes is gone,

my breasts don’t hurt anymore,

my rash has stopped spreading, etc.

A thankful heart is a happy heart.

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I Will Continue to Fight-This Will Not Bring Me Down

sparring_polar_bears41

Be strong no matter what and perservere!

After a very long night, nightmare after nightmare, I awoke with swollen knees; my knees hurt and were very stiff. I find that my hands are a wee bit swollen and finger joints are sore. Once again, opening a simple bottle is difficult. I looked in the mirror, my eyes were swollen, and I had black rings under my eyes.

I had not had any of these symptoms for months. As Babe Ruth said:   It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up.

It was just so disheartening;

Does this mean my recovery is still miles and miles from reach?

I just could scream, but I didn’t. (I beat up my pillow instead.) I lost a tear or two, but that was all. I swore to myself that I was not going to let this bring me down. I will continue to have faith and recover. Unfortunately, it just won’t be on my timetable.

The more setbacks or obstacles that are thrown at me, the more determined I become that I will beat these beasts. I will keep on fighting!  I will become a success story for those that are suffering and are losing hope. I will, even if it takes everything I have, I will!!!!

(Those of us that get knocked down, must get back up.  We can have our moment, but we must never give up!)

Inspiration:

Celebrating Life! Lessons Learned

Today we have been married for 24 yrs. I’m so blessed and lucky to have my sweetheart in my life. It has been a very rocky road because of all my health issues including chronic Lyme.

So today I’m celebrating totally and wholeheartedly. I am going to make filet mignon, baked cod and potatoes, and mixed vegetables. I am going to enjoy every morsel of it too with no guilt. I am also celebrating life too.

With my aunt at death’s door, I realized that I get to enjoy the sunsets, snowfalls, rainfalls, and my “sweet pea” who always gives me unconditional love, sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers, friends and all of those simple little pleasures, including this website.

My aunt has made realize how precious my life is despite all those annoying, at times painful, symptoms. I will always remember her and cherish those valuable lessons I have learned from her.  Most of all, life is precious!  Enjoy what you have.

You only get one life.  Live it! 

Gratitude:  Lessons Learned:

Why Not End it All Now? Contemplating Suicide

thumbnailCA73ZY0L

I’m not so sure if I am herxing, this just feels different. I looked at the side effects, and a few of the things I’m feeling were under severe side effects and to call doc right away. I feel like a wimp but these last few days have been even harder to get through than “usual”–pretty sad when poorly is an adjective you use to let others know how you are feeling daily.

When we moved here, after a few weeks here, I was on the top of the world. I felt like I had a new beginning.

Now years later, these past few months have been very difficult; I must, I must continue to fight and to try staying positive.

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