How Many Will Have to Die Before They’re Heard?

With flu season approaching, I began to recall flu season last year.  As you remember, last year H1N1 flu was causing quite a few deaths around the country.  I thought of my experience with it and a chill ran down my spine.  Last year, I became very ill with the H1N1.  My temperature was sky high, my breathing became very shallow, and I was vomiting blood and losing more blood in other ways.  Yet, I was too afraid, stubborn and stupid to be taken to the hospital.  I was very lucky I didn’t die because just the regular flu can be so deadly.  It took me two months to recover.  Here’s a recap of my journal entry. 

I was home all alone for a week by myself.  I had to forego my aunt’s funeral because I had come down with the flu.  My sweetie would have never left me if he knew that it was not just the flu but the H1N1.  This flu overcame me like a vengeance.  It has been a couple days now and I have not been able to keep anything down.  I was burning up even more severely and trembling violently with the chills.  Not only was I vomiting whatever I had taken in but I was also losing blood.  As I was lying there, thinking that I needed to call someone, I could not find the strength to lift myself up.  Then, I thought I heard something and looked up and saw the name and number up on the TV screen, my sister was calling.  I could not muster up the strength to stand up and grab the phone.  Then, I felt a vibration; she was calling me on my cell phone.  Thank goodness I had my phone in the pocket of my robe.  After the first time I was diagnosed with Lyme, I fell into the habit of carrying the phone on my person. 

I was able to answer it just in time.  I struggled to hear her but I could hear the worry in her voice.  She had caught me at my worst.  I was scared.  I was so very weak.  I felt like death had warmed over me.  While I was on, I was coughing up blood in a deep wrenching in the chest cough.  I was in the mindset that I was not going to be able to pull through this.  I cannot even recall what was said. I do remember her staying on the phone with me just talking.  Her voice was barely above a whisper but it was just nice to hear something.  (She had to be shouting because I still could barely hear a thing due to my hearing loss.)  Shortly, after she hung up, I received a call from my husband.  My sister had called him and was in tears; she wasn’t sure if I was strong enough to pull through.  His first question was “did you call 911?”  After being ill for so long, I have gotten into the mindset that “this too shall pass.”  He asked me for my friend’s number who was an EMS/EMT.  By the time our conversation was over, he still had not been able to get the number.  Before the end of the day, I had my neighbor and EMS friend checking in on me.  My neighbor’s astonishment was hard to hide.  She wanted to take me to the hospital immediately.  I declined.  My experiences with hospitals and their attitudes regarding Lyme, Babesia and the other associated illnesses left me distrusting that I would not receive the appropriate care.  I was also afraid that they would do something that would only exacerbate my situation like a hospital had once before in the past.  My neighbor finally left in exasperation.  The next few days were even worse.  However, as I have learned, as many chronic Lyme disease sufferers do, there wasn’t much the doctors would do, so I struggled through.  (My doctor happened to be out-of-state at the time.)

Looking back at this entry, I ask myself:  When are things going to change for those that continue to suffer with chronic Lyme and the other diseases?  How many are going to lose their lives because they won’t be heard?  When will those that continue to suffer get the much deserved support from the general public?  When?

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