Lyme Aware

Tag Archives: grief

Thank You For Being There

Thanks

Thank you for being with me through this roller coaster of my life.

This little blurb is for those that are on the other side of this horrendous Disease. Last night as I sat and watched my husband in obvious discomfort, I experienced several different emotions. I went from fear to helplessness to anger to shame to worry to annoyance to relief to concern to fretting; the cycle kept repeating itself.

Then, I thought how difficult it must be for those that go every day observing the list of symptoms you go through, at times, every minute to every hour of the day. How angry and helpless they must feel. Just sitting back and not being able to do anything to help you. Then, when you are in the Emergency Room and trying to explain what is going on with your loved one and not being heard. While you are asking questions or adding to what your loved one has said, it is as if you are not there, totally ignored. For those that have not made a trip to the ER, great for you! However, for those that have whether it was for your wife, children, parents, etc. know what I am speaking about-it’s as if it’s just a one-way discussion.

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Celebrating Life! Lessons Learned

Today we have been married for 24 yrs. I’m so blessed and lucky to have my sweetheart in my life. It has been a very rocky road because of all my health issues including chronic Lyme.

So today I’m celebrating totally and wholeheartedly. I am going to make filet mignon, baked cod and potatoes, and mixed vegetables. I am going to enjoy every morsel of it too with no guilt. I am also celebrating life too.

With my aunt at death’s door, I realized that I get to enjoy the sunsets, snowfalls, rainfalls, and my “sweet pea” who always gives me unconditional love, sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers, friends and all of those simple little pleasures, including this website.

My aunt has made realize how precious my life is despite all those annoying, at times painful, symptoms. I will always remember her and cherish those valuable lessons I have learned from her.  Most of all, life is precious!  Enjoy what you have.

You only get one life.  Live it! 

Gratitude:  Lessons Learned:

This Stupid Roller Coaster Ride!

77980hulk1I have been crying the last three days straight, and I am very weepy.  So, I need to vent.

I am just so freaking tired of all of this crap:

losing my hair,

this stupid rash,

taking all of these horrible pills,

taking all these horrible liquid meds and herbs,

my stomach being all icky most of the time,

getting headaches and eye pain when I try to read,

having migraines daily,

my eyes becoming sensitive to light again,

feeling needles and pins in my eye,

numbness and tingling in my feet and hands,

tenderness all long my spine,

being so tired no matter how long I sleep,

having stiff and achy joints,

being so weak at times,

the intermittent nerve pain,

this stupid roller coaster ride,

not being in control of my body,

and feeling so blue each new cycle,

and, most of all, for feeling this way right now.

Maybe this all came to a head because the anniversary of my two best friends’ deaths was yesterday.  Or, the news that my aunt has at most eight weeks to live. 

So very, very angry with myself right now, for feeling this way right now.

(Let yourself be angry.  We can’t always remain positive. We need to let go of the negative energy that’s inside us. Vent, scream or beat a pillow, you need to let it go.)

Lessons Learned:

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