This Stupid Roller Coaster Ride!
I have been crying the last three days straight, and I am very weepy. So, I need to vent.
I am just so freaking tired of all of this crap:
losing my hair,
this stupid rash,
taking all of these horrible pills,
taking all these horrible liquid meds and herbs,
my stomach being all icky most of the time,
getting headaches and eye pain when I try to read,
having migraines daily,
my eyes becoming sensitive to light again,
feeling needles and pins in my eye,
numbness and tingling in my feet and hands,
tenderness all long my spine,
being so tired no matter how long I sleep,
having stiff and achy joints,
being so weak at times,
the intermittent nerve pain,
this stupid roller coaster ride,
not being in control of my body,
and feeling so blue each new cycle,
and, most of all, for feeling this way right now.
Maybe this all came to a head because the anniversary of my two best friends’ deaths was yesterday. Or, the news that my aunt has at most eight weeks to live.
So very, very angry with myself right now, for feeling this way right now.
(Let yourself be angry. We can’t always remain positive. We need to let go of the negative energy that’s inside us. Vent, scream or beat a pillow, you need to let it go.)
Lessons Learned:
Yes, I got scared! Three days in a row I had sharp pains, like pins poking in my left eye. Why did I get scared? Because the first time around I had these symptoms and I lost my sight. Albeit, it was short-lived but an experience I would never like to repeat. Lucky my “baby girl” sensed it before I knew it was coming. (Superdog!) She threw herself at me until I sat down and she was on me…seconds later it was black. She’s my special companion–she’s now 12. My pooch was paralyzed from Lyme Disease a year and a half later from her neck down her body; she recovered. That’s another long story.
How It All Began
